how to get a boyfriend

neptunain:

put peanut butter on a pinecone and roll it in bird seed. hang it up outside. wait.

(via mexicangovernment)

crimewave360:

shinygays:

My anaconda don’t want none unless the state of the economy recovers, minimum wage workers see an increase in their pay, and women, racial, and sexual minorities acquire their rights.

hun

(via mexicangovernment)

snaggypax:

everets:

just replace all police with police dogs

nobody would be mean or rude the police imagine a dog with a lil’ backpack giving you a ticket. you can’t get mad at the dog. the dog is just doing his lil’ dog job and wagging his tail and you KNOW he loves you still.

(via reality-killsme)

hexephra:

mishollins:

chemicalaccess:

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

i-am-mishafuckingcollins:

silentswirls:

i-am-mishafuckingcollins:

mishollins:

Finish the sentence: Do me 

a favor and do me

a favor

and fucking do me

a favour

and then after that you’re going to fucking do me

a favor

#I’d say ‘that escalated quickly’#but actually it refused to escalate anywhere

(via anicantskywalker)